St Ignatius Parish

You never know!

Andrew Zerafa discusses the power of the chance remark  

This article was published in the July 2003 edition of Christian Traveller, our parish magazine.

It was his last contribution in a long career of writing

In December 2000, Philip Satchell interviewed me for an hour on ABC 891 about my life and work and vocation.  I was astonished at the number of telephone calls this generated.  Many were made to our office secretary.  Many others were made by individuals to their friends and relatives, urging them to tune in.  Weeks afterwards many relatives and friends told me they had heard it and liked it.  One remarked that never once did I say “Er” nor pause in my stride.  I pointed out, in all modesty, that after all it was on a favourite topic, namely myself.  I must confess that all this feedback gave me a great deal of satisfaction. I basked in the afterglow.  But like all glows, it tended to fade.  It disappears altogether when I feel low or depressed.  So you can imagine my joy when I received renewed feedback.

At my desk one evening I received a long distance call from interstate.  Let us call him Bob.  He had read an article of mine, which covered some of the same material, namely the time of my illness and depression.  He too had found the study of philosophy an uphill battle.  Now he was teaching it.  But he too suffered from depression.  We talked around the subject and got on to the medication we had to take.  He was reluctant to be totally dependent, claiming the body should produce its own chemistry.

I agreed but had learnt from bitter experience.  Three times I had weaned myself off the tablets only to nosedive into depression each time.  Now I am resigned to taking my tablets for the term of my natural life.  “But what about side effects?” he asked.  “Well”, I replied, “the only one I have is a dampening of my libido and since I am a priest it does not really worry me.”  He roared laughing and promised to shout me a dinner when I visited his state.

A few weeks ago I attended a dinner.  The guest next to me, Paul, must have heard me on the subject or read my articles.  He began by saying: “You’ve been depressed.”  Once upon a time that would have depressed me even more.  But now I understood it better.  It was more like a fellow feeling.  Indeed, he too had been depressed and was now better.  However, he did have a friend who is suffering but continues to deny it.  He refuses to seek medical help.

Then, one Sunday, a lady came up and told me how valuable my interview with Philip Satchell, two years ago, had been to a friend of hers.  He lived on Kangaroo Island.  He suffered from depression.  He refused to seek help, denying he was depressed and yet withdrawing himself from all and sundry.  That is, she told me, until he heard my interview on the ABC.  It was a turning point in his life.  He sought help and slowly got better, leading a happy life until he died recently.  You can imagine my elation.  To think that an interview, given nearly three years ago, should still be helping people, giving them a new zest for life.  I am making a copy of that tape and offering it to my
dinner companion, Paul, for his friend, hoping it might bring him too out of the darkness and into the light.

Andrew Zerafa SJ